Thursday, December 5, 2013

Guest Story Editing Part 7 Explanation

This will be my last explanation post, as I've run out of editing posts to explain.  You can find this last part here.

The first paragraph of this part is a giant tell, same as usual.  I did my best to show the details through a more intimate, tighter, more visible viewpoint.  The story was meant to be light-hearted, so I tried to make it innocent and serene.  I think I did pretty well.

I chose to change the ending of this story, as the original felt very abrupt and cheesy.  The themes (don't think too much of it, I'm not much of a "theme" kind of guy) of forgiveness and friendship was too perfect to pass up on.  My last bit is still a little cheesy, but in a sweeter, less slap-stick way, in my opinion.

What d'ya think?

1 comment:

  1. Love the happily ever after that was given, haha. Cheesy, yes, but what's life without a bit of cheese? Nice work. :)